I once met a man named Dave

Who found a dead hooker in a cave.
Feel free to finish the rest yourself...

Why are dirty limericks such a neglected poetic event? I feel the dirty limerick doesn't get its just dues and fair shakes and all that what-have-you, to the point that I am considering starting my own Dirty Limerick Awareness Online Mediation Group with colorful illustrations and pop-ups. Sadly, aside from this one that I learned in the first grade, in between jail stints, I don't recall any other dirty limericks. Feel free to inundate me with limericks at your leisure.

Now on to my other favorite sport, nude woodworking (not like that you dirty minded bastards). What I mean by that is... uh.. okay okay, I really meant masturbation, I just wanted it to seem like innocent naked fun with sharp edged power tools. Which I guess could be another reference to masturbation in itself. Hmmm.. I wonder if there's anything that can't be taken to mean masturbation. Not if I can help it.

Is you is or is you ain't my behbeh?

If Tom and Jerry taught a generation of impressionable youngsters anything, it's that extreme violence is cyclical in nature and begets itself from within its own existence, much like the pheonix rising from the ash. Also that it's fucking hilarious.
What is it about animated avatars of humanity causing each other extreme discomfort and pain that makes one chortle with delight? Oh I know what you're thinking, that cartoons such as Tom and Jerry and Bugs Bunny have been repeatedly dissected to expose the violent content they portray as well as the possible psychological and sociological ramifications of exposure to such content at great length by some of the brightest minds in the country. The difference here friends Romans and countrymen is that it isn't one of the brightest minds in the country discussing it this time. It's mine. So sit back and buckle up. To hell with that, don't buckle up. Don't take any safety precautions whatsoever. Leave the elbow pads and the bicycle helmets tucked away on a dusty shelf in the garage. Disable the airbags. Leave the condoms in the wrapper. Take pills that expired so long ago there isn't a date on the package. Drink chunky milk. Don't hold the handrail on the way down the stairs. Eat an apple without washing it first...
Shit. I forgot the point I was trying to make.

It's hard to believe I'm a nihilist.

I had a long discussion last night and part of today about the belief structure of nihilism. Okay okay.. it may have been somewhat shorter than I let on. Can a nihilist really believe that they are a nihilist, and if they don't believe they are a nihilist, does that in fact reinforce their status as a nihilist?
Alright.. on to a new topic. What about hedonism? Priaprism? Geo Metrism? Wait, what?
Thanks to Utopian Earwax, I'm just glad I'm not a worker bee. If my penis ever explodes I would prefer it to be on my own terms.

Carnivorous organisms

Did you know that wasps are carnivorous? The insect I mean, not the social class. Although I'm sure they are carnivorous as well. Seems every time you turn around there is yet another entity attempting to take a bite out of your ass, your checking account, or your time. Oh well, guess it's time to stock up on wasp spray.